Our agony aunt’s mailbag this week is bulging with ‘take me home’ cries:
Dear Alma,
I am a 16 year old violinist at a summer music camp. We have been here for 2 weeks and I have another 2 weeks left. It’s a lot of fun but my quartet is really mean to me when the coach isn’t around. Like they tell me to do a different fingering, and they even took my violin away and put tape on my bow to tell me where I should be playing, and tell me I need to practice more. I heard that they went to the camp director and complained about me. But all of the teachers think I am doing ok, and I signed up for extra lessons. It makes me really upset but I don’t want to rat them out either.
Stuck and Squashed
Dear S&S,
Summer camps are great for a lot of reasons. Finding new friends, getting out of your comfort zone, learning new skills. They can also sometimes be cesspools of misbehaving and irrational people, kids who have spent way too much time alone, cooped up with their instrument, obsessing and not developing the social skills that the “regular” kids have. A bit like a classical music Lord of the Flies.
The skills that your quartet colleagues seem to be lacking: compassion, kindness, patience self-reflection, and observing personal boundaries. These are necessary skills to develop as we age; they are some of the foundational skills we need to have healthy, productive relationships.
I urge you to stand up for yourself in rehearsals. I also think that it would be important for the camp to know about the behavior of your quartet mates, especially since your colleagues have already gone to the director to talk s*** about you. Perhaps ask if the director could give a general talk to the camp about rehearsal strategies, with guidelines for helpful, acceptable behaviors.
S&S, this summer could be a great time for you to grow more than musically. A time to self-advocate and find ways to navigate prickly situations with class and patience.
Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com
The post Dear Alma, A letter from summer camp appeared first on Slippedisc.
