Dear Alma
On our last tour I lent 200 Euros to the concertmaster to buy a new Eton shirt.
We came home a month ago and he has shown no sign of paying me back.
I’m a section violinist. I don’t like to get noticed. How do I get my money back?
Out of Pocket
Dear Out of Pocket,
Loaning money to co-workers, or, worse, a superior at work, should be avoided at all costs. Unfortunately, you generously helped a colleague with a heap of money, but depending on the vibe of your situation, I would be prepared to chalk it up as a loss. It sounds as if the two of you are not on very close terms, so getting the money back will require a bit of effort.
Find a time to gently remind your concertmaster about the loan, perhaps on a day (soon) when they are wearing the shirt. You can say something along the lines of “is that the shirt you picked up in M…..? I was happy to be able to help you with the €200, and was hoping to have that back before the end of the week because (insert reason here) my goldfish needs a facelift”.
Hopefully they aren’t being sly or using the obvious power inequality to skip out on the loan, but if they balk, I would probably just call it “lesson learned”.
Once, when I had a new position in a new city, a coworker “loaned” a piece of furniture to me as I was getting set up in a new apartment. It was useful for us and they mentioned at some point that it had been in storage for a long time and they had been trying to sell it (unsuccessfully). After 1 year, we moved and didn’t need it anymore. I mentioned that I could return it. My colleague asked if I could sell it. It was obvious they didn’t want it anymore, and it would be slightly awkward if I drove it to their place to drop it off. So, I just gave them €150 and told them I sold it (I just left it on the street and put a “free” sign on it). They were very happy, and it avoided an awkward situation. It was worth it to protect the good feelings, and actually helped to foster a feeling of good will. After that, I never accepted “loans” of unwanted furniture from friends or colleagues.
Out of Pocket, I am happy to pick up a lunch or coffee tab here or there but I never loan more cash than I am prepared to lose for good. It just leads to potential misunderstandings, a tricky thing at work.
Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com
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