From our agony aunt’s maailbag:
Dear Alma,
I work in the music industry, in a medium-sized non-profit. We have quite a bit of shared office space, and so it is difficult to keep a distance from my colleagues. There is a group that has put together a bible study during our lunch hour. Originally they met in our shared space, but now – I assume because of complaints – they have their meetings at a coffee shop.
My problem is that I am offended by this, by their bible chatter, the notices they put up, and the invitations (which I decline). They say things like “God Bless You, and Amen” regularly, and I am starting to get short tempered.
Alma – what should I do?
Not Interested
Dear Not Interested,
Yes. I hear you. It’s often hard to realize that things I say to others might annoy or offend them – for example things I don’t consider to be curse words that they sincerely feel are wrong. And on the contrary, having someone say “Bless You” when I sneeze – that irks me ferociously. I didn’t ask to be blessed.
Religious freedom in the workplace is a protected right. It may feel oppressive or intrusive to you, especially since I assume you don’t share the same beliefs, but it is legal, as long as it is not affecting your ability to work effectively. It is good that they have moved their meetings off the premises, and that it is not during work hours. That being said, I do think it is important to talk to your superiors about the situation to try to find a mutually comfortable work environment.
During my career, I consistently have to politely converse with people for whom I have a deep dislike. We are, however, in a hospitality industry, and grinning and bearing it is bread and butter for the classical musician (up to a certain point, of course). I once was in a work group with a person who would dribble racist remarks into their conversations. I would do my best to politely but firmly disagree, but eventually I realized that I just needed to stay as far away from that person as possible outside if direct work situations. They weren’t going anywhere, and neither was I. It certainly didn’t feel good, or right, or noble, but I had a job to do and I was there to do it, no ifs ands or buts about it.
Not Interested, keep your distance, voice your concerns to your higher ups, and keep your nose to the grindstone. No workplace is perfect for everyone, and respecting each others’ differences is fundamental to a healthy organization. Hopefully with some clear words, the situation can change enough for you to feel comfortable once again.
Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com
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