Dear Alma,
I left my oboe on the train last week.
It’s the third time in as many years. The first I blamed on Covid stress. The second was during my divorce. But this time there are no excuses.
I am managing my life and kids well. I have time to practise and time to play. My shrink says it’s my subconscious telling me that, deep down, I don’t want to play the oboe any more.
Could that be true?
What else could I do?
A Good Reed
Dear A Good Reed,
The forgetfulness can be one of three things. Psychological, physical, or exhaustion. Let’s look at the physical first. In the mean time, put a small tracking device in your oboe case that can notify your phone in case of separation.
It’s possible that something concrete is actually happening to you. Brain fog is a common side effect of long Covid as well as pre-menopause (which can start as early as age 40). In addition, playing any instrument has its own particular bag of health concerns. As an oboist, you are pushing air into a teeny opening at about the rate of 80-130 kilometers an hour. Risks include brain hemorrhage and aneurism. Being light headed, ear rupture and fainting can occur. It is worth it to check in with your health care provider for all of these issues, which may have solutions or may indicate a more serious problem.
Let’s look at exhaustion. Of course you are over worked and exhausted. You are a single, working parent in a high-pressure performance career. There is only so much we can do to combat this – you are doing your best to be well-rested, but you have obligations that you have to fulfill, things that demand more energy than a single person can provide. Can you hire some help at home, ask a family member for assistance, or have your kids take a more active role with cooking and cleaning? Every little bit helps.
A Good Reed – your gut question is whether you are happy being an oboist. Can you pinpoint the exact moment when you realized most recently that you had lost your oboe? How did you feel? Happy? Sad? Filled with anxiety? Relieved? If you can locate the memory of that split second feeling, you will answer your own question. If the feeling is relief, believe in yourself that you can find another career – they say that every human has about 8 different careers in their life. Maybe you are ready for a new chapter – it could be the best decision you have ever made!
Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com
The post Dear Alma, Is my instrument telling me I’m done? appeared first on Slippedisc.
