Dear Alma, There’s one musician who always turns up late

Dear Alma,

A member of my chamber ensemble is always late for rehearsals, barely makes our flights, and the other week we had to delay our start time for a concert because they misread the concert time and they were out enjoying a dinner.

We all really like this person but it’s been like this for a while and we are all frustrated. It also means our rehearsals often run overtime to compensate for the late start.

Any advice?

Dear Any advice?,

Yes frustrating! You like your colleague so you don’t want to cause any stress, so let’s keep that in mind as you decide your next steps. Having a chronically late or unreliable coworker adds anxiety into your group environment and it certainly feels like there is a lack of respect here. Let’s find some ways to steer the ship in the right direction before this behavior negatively affects other parts of your work environment.

Talk to your other colleagues about this situation. Come up with several ways of dealing with the problem, from direct to passive.

Direct route: bring the concern up in a group meeting. Together, decide ground rules for tardiness, expected behaviors for travel, and what time to arrive at the concert hall before concerts.

Indirect route: don’t wait to start rehearsals, just go ahead and begin to work. When they show up late, they might feel awkward and change their behavior in the future. End your rehearsals on time. Just because Jefferson is always late doesn’t mean that you have to stay later than planned to accommodate him. Ask your coworker if there is anything you can do to help them be on time – there may be something happening at home that you are unaware of, and offering to help might be welcome.

Any Advice?, please address this issue as soon as possible. It is very dangerous to have distrust and anger building in a group – it can be the harbinger of the end. Come together to find a solution which respects all members.

Questions for Alma? Please put them in the comments section or send to DearAlmaQuery@gmail.com

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