Recent events are uncannily reminiscent of the T. S Eliot play, drawn from a memoir by a terrified Canterbury clerk.
Here’s the 2024 update:
Act 1
Director of Music Andrew Lumsden is dragged from the altar, his mouth stuffed with Non-Disclosure Agreements
Act 2
The Precentor, Andy Trenier, who is married to the CofE’s head of HR, demands that the next DoM is answerable to him alone.
Act 3
The Dean promises more music, better music, from a temporary DoM hauled from impending retirement by a panel of non-musicians.
Act 4
The Bishop calls an investigation.
Act 5
The King says: ‘Will no one rid me of this turbulent Chapter?’
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